Untitled
by ladydelirium007
Summary: Josh helps Donna out when her nephew dies.
1. Chapter one

okay, here's the deal. Usually I'm okay with flames. They're fun to laugh at. But this time please don;t flame me. This is about a very personal subject and I would greatly appreciate it if yiou kept mean comments to yourselves.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The information about Cardiomyopathia is all true. I also no very little about Wisconsin, so don't hurt me or anything if I get something wrong  
  
WARNING: This may not be easy to read, especially for people who have lost a loved one, especially for people who have lost a loved one at a young age, especially if they died fromt this disease. READ WITH CAUTION.  
  
  
  
I don't believe it. I simply don't believe it. How could he be dead? He's only 15.  
  
I stare at the phone in my hand. Maybe if I ignor eit for long enough it will go away, it will be like it never happened.  
  
"Donna!" Josh yells from his office, but I can barely hear him. It's all background noise. All I can hear is my sister's voice over and over in my head. "Oh, god, Donna, he had a heart attack during football practice. He died."  
  
How can that be? He's only 15. 15 year olds aren't supposed to have heart attacks, they're supposed to be dating and going to parties. They aren't supposed to have bad hearts. They shouldn't have to worry about that.  
  
I don't even relise that Josh is standing in front of me until He's shaking me gently by the shoulders. I look up at him. He has a very concerned look on his face. "Donna, what's wrong."  
  
That's all it takes. I hadn't cried when I heard, but Josh asking me about it sends me into a fit of sobs. Josh puts his arm around mt shoulders and leads me into his office. He puts me in a chair and kneels in front of me. "Donna, what is it? Is it girl problems? Do I need to get CJ?"  
  
I'm crying so hard I can't talk, so he gets up and goes to CJ's office. CJ comes in and kneels in front of me. "Donna, what's wrong?" she asks me gently.  
  
I calm down enough t tell her what happened. "My nephew was at football practice and he had a heart attack and he's dead."  
  
"Oh Donna..." Josh says and I begin to sob again. CJ envleopes me in a hug and Josh comes over and begins to stroke my hair. "How?" he asks.  
  
"His heart," I say between sobs, "was to large and strong to pump any blood."  
  
CJ lets go of me, whispers something to Josh and leaves the office. Josh puts his arms around me and holds me tightly. I feel safe in his arms. He doesn't say anything. He knows not to.  
  
CJ walks into the office with my things. "I'm taking you home," Josh whispers into my ear. I'm to tired to put up a fight, so I nod mutely. Josh helps me put my coat on and takes me out to his car. I wipe at my eyes. "Josh, I can drive myself."  
  
He shakes his head. "No, I'm taking you home."  
  
He opens my door and I get into the car. We drive in silence for several minutes until Josh says. "When's the funeral."  
  
I shake my had adamently. "No, I'm not going."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm not good with funerals. I don't think it'll do me any good."  
  
"Donna, you are going to that funeral. I know you don't think it will help, but it really will."  
  
"Josh, I really don't want to go. I'd rather just stay here and distract myself with work."  
  
"That will only make it worse. Look, I'll even go with you."  
  
I look at him with an expression that says I don't want to argue. "You are not going, and I am not going."  
  
"Donna, you may not thik it'll help now, but if you don't go you'll regret it and it will eat you up inside."  
  
He's probably right. He's gone to enough funerals in his life to know. "Fine," I say reluctanly. "But you aren't going."  
  
"I am. I want to make sure your okay."  
  
My eyes fill with tears. "That's sweet, but you don;t have to."  
  
"I want to."  
  
I give in. "Thank you."  
  
We pull up outside of my apartment and we get out of the car. It got dark while we were driving. He puts his arm around me as we walk up to my apartment. "You tired?" he asks me. I nod as I unlock the door. "I'll sleep on the couch," he says.  
  
I spin around to face him. "No. Josh, really. You don't have to stay with me."  
  
"Donna, I'm staying." I look at his face and see a silent pleading in his eyes. I get it. He thinks I'm going to try to hurt myself  
  
"Josh, I wouldn't"  
  
He nods. "I know, but I just want to make sure"  
  
I take his hand. "it's okay. I want you to stay anyway. But you don't have to sleep on the couch. We're responsible adults, we can handle it."  
  
"Famous last words," Josh mutters.  
  
"Josh, please," I say. "I just really need someone to hold me tonight."  
  
"okay."  
  
He puts his arms aronud me and pulls me close to him as we walk towards the bedroom.  
  
TBC (maybe) 


	2. Chapter two

I wake up the next morning to the smell of coffee. The first thing I remember is the feeling of Josh's arms around me. Then I remember why they were around me. I will not cry. I will not cry. I've cried to much already. If I'm going to the funeral I have to be strong. For my sister. For my family.  
  
I wander out into the kitchen to see josh making pancakes and bacon. I didn't know he could cook. I always imagined him making a mess and catching things on fire whne he tried to cook. THinking of this I giggle. He turns around and looks at me. "Hi," he says, smiling.  
  
"Hi," I say as I sit at the table. He puts a plate of food in front of me. I eat a few bites and look up at him. "I'm sorry, I'm just really not hungry."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"Shouldn't you be at work?"  
  
"I talked to Leo. We both have the week off for the funeral."  
  
"You don't have to come, really."  
  
He sits across from me and takes my hand. "I want to."  
  
I smile at him and he smiles back. "I have our flight booked. We leave tonight."  
  
"you should go home and pack," I say.  
  
"Okay."  
  
WE get up from the table and I walk Josh to the door. "You gonna be okay?" he asks.  
  
I nod. "Yeah, I'll be okay." He hugs me tightly before leaving. I head into the kitchen and pick up the phone to call my sister."Hi, Marci."  
  
"Hi, Donna." she sounds tired, but she isn't crying anymore.  
  
"I just called to tell you that Josh and I are coming."  
  
"Your boss is coming with you?"  
  
"Yeah," I say distractedly as I start to put the food away.  
  
"I don't mind, but, why?"  
  
"He's my friend and he's just trying to help."  
  
"donna, is he really just a friend?"  
  
I nearly drop the plate I'm drying. Even in the worst of times she can think of things like this. "Of, course! Why would you think otherwise?"  
  
"It's just, well, I don't think he'd come all the way to Wisconsin if he was just a friend."  
  
"we are just friends."  
  
"Is that what he wants?"  
  
"Yes!" Is it?  
  
"Is that what you want?"  
  
"Marci..."  
  
"Look, just humor me. Help me get my mind off of things. Is that what you want?"  
  
"He's my boss. We're in the middle of an investigation. Even if I wanted to, even if we both wanted to we couldn't."  
  
"But if you could."  
  
"maybe." What? Did I really just say that? I did. Marci has this amazing tallent to get things out of me that I don't even relise.  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
"I think so," I say quietly.  
  
"Then the other things shouldn't matter."  
  
"It's not that simple, Marci. What we do could reflect poorly on the president."  
  
"So wait for him. this investigation can't last much long. And when reelection is over you guys have nothing else to lose. You guys could go for it then. It's only like, a year."  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
There is silence while I contemplate what was just said. I just admitted to loving Josh. And I totld Marci. I really shouldn't have told her. She has the biggest mouth.  
  
"Marci," I say after a few minutes, "what happened? I know you probabky don't want to talk about it, but I feel like I need it."  
  
Marci takes a deep breath. "He had a condition called Cardiomyopathia. Well, that's what they think it was anyway. The walls to his heart thickened and enlarged. The wall between the two ventricles obstructed the blood flow."  
  
"how did they not catch it?" I asks as I tear up again.  
  
"He was dizzy. We thought he has the flu," she says as she starts to cry again.  
  
"I'm sorry I asked," I tell her.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"Okay. Well, Josh and I are leaving tonight. Nobody needs to pick us up, we'll get a cab and go to a hotel."  
  
"Donna, you can stay here."  
  
"No, the last thing you need is Josh in your house. Besides, I think Josh likes hotels better. He might feel awkward at your place."  
  
"Okay, I'll see youlater. I love you."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter three

Josh picks me up the next morning at around 7:00. Our plane leaves at 9:00 and he wants plenty of time to get through security checks.  
  
"Why, is there something in your luggage that you shouldn't be taking on a plane?" I ask.  
  
"Ha, ha. No, it just take awhile when you aren't flying with the president."  
  
He helps me with me bags and we take off to the airport. The security checks don't take too long, but I'm grateful we left early so I could have some time to sit before we got on the plane.  
  
We board the plane and Josh grabs my hand as we begin to take off. He knows I'm not a good flyer, and it helps me to know he's there. I squeeze his hand as my stomach lurches and he squeezes back.  
  
When we're off the ground and I've calmed down a bit Josh takes out a file and begins to read. I snatch the file from his hand. "No work," say groggily. I'm begginning to get little tired. The past few days catching up with me.  
  
"Why not?" he whines.  
  
"Because I say so."  
  
"Donna..."  
  
"Look, your the one who wanted to come, so you're going to follow my rules."  
  
"Why can't I do work?"  
  
"Josh," I say, "pretend this is a vacation. I mean, yeah we have to go to a funeral, and me and my family will probably be sobbing half the time, but that doesn't mean you have to work."  
  
He smiles at me, and I go weak at the knees. Good thing I'm sitting down. "Okay," he says. He takes me hand again and draws circles on the back of it with his thumb. "You know I just want to be here for you. If you need anything at all, just tell me."  
  
I smile back at him. "Okay."  
  
I yawn. "you tired?" Josh asks gently. I nod and he puts his arm around me. "Just go to sleep."  
  
"don't you dare do any work, Joshua."  
  
"I wouldn't dare, Donnatella."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I wake up a few hours later when Josh gently shakes me. "Donna, we're landing, you gotta wake up."  
  
I wake up too find my head resting on Josh's shoulder, and I'm not inclined to move it anytime soon. I'm pleased to notice that there's an actual book in Josh's hands, and not a file of some kind.  
  
"Are you awake?"  
  
"Yeah," I say, but I don't move my head.  
  
The plane lands and we get off. josh carries most of my bags and his. He calls a cab and we wait for fifteen minutes. Josh keeps his arm around my shoulders. There's snow on the ground and I shiver, but not from the cold. I haven't been back to Wisconsin since the election. When I did come back I didn't want it to be a thing like this. Josh pulls me closer to him when he relises I'm shivering, and I don't mind a bit.  
  
The cab drops us off at a nice hotel. "Josh, I can't afford this."  
  
"That's why I'm paying."  
  
"Josh, no. You don't have to."  
  
"Donna, I want to." He takes my face in his hands and kisses my forehead. He then takes my hand and leads me into the hotel.  
  
The clerk looks up and smiles at us. Before either of us can say anything the clerk says, "Oh, would you and your wife like the honeymoon suite."  
  
I'm about to tell him that we aren't married, but before I can Josh just says, "No, wmy wife and I would just like ajoining rooms." The clerk smiles at us and gives us keys to our rooms an we walk away.  
  
When we're no longer in hearing distance of the clerk I whisper harshly to Josh, "Why did you tell him we're married?"  
  
"I didn't, he said it and I just didn't deny it."  
  
"Josh, you said my wife and I."  
  
"Hey, sometimes married couples get extra perks."  
  
Gee, way to dash my hopes and dreams, there Josh. "Oh," is all I can manage to say.  
  
We get up to our rooms and Josh comes into mine with me. "Do you want me to open you door, Josh?" I ask mockingly.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then why are you in here?" I ask a bit more harshly then I intended to. I must be little bitter about josh's 'married people get perk's' comment.  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you're okay." he says. He sounds a little hurt.  
  
I walk over to him and he immediatly slips his hands into mine. :"I'm sorry, Josh. I'm just really tired. I think I might lie down before we go to my sister's."  
  
"Okay," he says and he kisses the corner of my mouth. He lets his lips linger for a little longer then he probably should, then he leaves the room.  
  
I flop down on the bed and try to slow my racing heart. I pick up the phone and call my sister. "Marci."  
  
"Donna, you sound a little out of breath, are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, it's just..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, we'll be there in a little bit, I think I'm going to take a little nap."  
  
"Okay. Bye." She's about to hang up the phone, but I say, "Marce, wait."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You know how you said we could wait a year then get together."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I don't think we're gonna be able to make it through a year."  
  
TBC 


End file.
